Less than a month

InsyaAllah, there is less than a month until I am no longer carefree.
Less than a month until I start working.
Most important of all, less than a month until I am responsible for my patients.

My patients.

Gulp.

Of course I will still be working under the supervision of medical officers but the responsibility that I have to bear is huge compared to when I was still a medical student. During my clinical years as a student, we ought to clerk patients, do reviews, perform procedures, etc. Yes, they're almost the same thing as what house officers do but everything that we did was mostly instructed by the residents. And now, I need to make my own decision before consulting the MOs.

"You'll learn more from mistakes". If it's a minor one, that might have been forgiven. What if it's fatal? Will it still be okay?

The lives of your patients are in your hands now. Welcome to the real world honey.

Home sweet home

I'm definitely not much of a writer. I suck at composing and that explains the long absence of any new blog posts here. I write whenever I feel like to. Even if I did feel like writing something, the thoughts ended up being lost somewhere in my brain and I just couldn't find them back.

Yadda yadda. The truth is, I'm just l-a-z-y.

Dah genap dua bulan pulang ke Malaysia. I officially ended my degree on 13th of July. Took some time to shop for my family, packed my stuff, and got ready to end everything for good. Real good.

It still feels surreal that I've actually completed my years in medical school. Six years is definitely not a short period of time. I'm finally a doctor. Percaya? Entah, kadang-kadang saya sendiri rasa tak percaya. Dulu masa first year, bila tengok final year students, rasa kagum. Bila masuk clinical phase, tengok doctors rasa kagum. Sekarang, bila dah jadi doktor? Rasa serba kekurangan. Tak rasa pun saya tahu semua benda sebab dulu saya ingat doktor mesti tahu segala-galanya kan.

Housemanship. One thing that scares me. Semua fresh medical graduates pasti akan menempuhi hal yang sama. Kalau orang lain boleh, kenapa tidak saya?

Harus kuat semangat. Semoga semuanya berjalan lancar seperti yang diharapkan. Amin.

Save the date!

Alhamdulillah. :)

No, I'm not getting married. Not me lol. Another friend of mine is getting married this December and I'm so happy for her! Congrats dear! I'm not allowed to mention her name openly so let it stay as a secret, shall we? All I can say is we've been friends/classmates for 6 years long and even shared the same bedroom! :) When I first heard the news, rasa terharu sangat. Serious sangat happy for her. I know she's gonna be the first one to get married among the seven of us. I should've known earlier coz she's been dropping hints here and there. I did suspect but I wasn't too sure so I kept teasing her "bila nak kahwin?". She would then give me the same answer everytime I asked her, "Hujung tahun. Boleh jadi hujung tahun ni, hujung tahun depan bla bla bla.." Sekali bila dapat undangan, betul-betul hujung tahun ni. Ahaks!

People have been asking me. When will I get married? Like seriously. Hampir semua orang tanya. Even my Indonesian friends from the Regular class kept asking the same thing too. Aneh. I'm just gonna be honest. Yes, I do feel a tinge of jealousy. Not a bad one though. Haha. Yes, I wanna get married too but definitely not now. My elder sister got married at the age of 27. I'm 25, still young lol~

We did talk about this earlier. Me and him. About marriage. Get a job, buy a car, have a good financial stability and then only we can think of marriage. I told my friends and they think it's a valid and well-reasoned point. We're both doctors so it's gonna be very challenging. Coping with time is difficult since we're gonna be working in a different hospital. :(

As the Malay saying goes, kalau dah jodoh, tak kemana.

Ps. Happy Ramadhan Kareem to all my Muslim friends. :)
Pps. This is my 100th post! Woot woot~! ^___^

You left me in this hurricane

Currently in love with this song. :) The lyrics have nothing to do with my life thankyouverymuch! 

There was a thread of love
I didn't think it'll come
What was I thinking of
I don't know, I was good
on my own
Then I threw caution to the wind
When I decide to let you in
I fell so hard, so fast
I'm seeing stars,
they lead us through the dark

(Pre-Chorus)
Now it's gone and clouds
are forming
everybody tried to
warned me but I didn't
listen to what they said

(Chorus)
Now that the rain is falling
I should've seen it coming
I can't believe you're walking
walking away, away
You left me in this hurricane (x5)

(Verse)
I wanted so badly to believe
that you would brave the storm
with me
fair weathered friends got enough of them
thought you'd be here for me

(Pre-Chorus)
Now my eyes have
started pouring
In my heart it's dark
and stormy and it
won't stop cause you
wrecked all of me

(Bridge)
Now it's gone and clouds
are forming
everybody tried to
warned me but I didn't
listen to what they said

(Chorus)
Now that the rain is falling
I should've seen it coming
I can't believe you're walking
walking away, away
You left me in this hurricane (x5)

Sexism

According to the dictionary,

sex·ism
n.

1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.
2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

In this modern world, there is still a whole bunch of sexists. Well, the discrimination against women that we can see now isn't really that obvious or extreme and it is usually done in a very subtle way. Even sexism occurs in my very own educational institute.

There was one time where we were supposed to have a lecture with this very "infamous" consultant doctor. The moment when it was his time to deliver his lecture, all female students moved to the back rows, leaving the male students in front (I sat at the back from the start :p). I didn't really know the exact reason to this sudden peculiar act. As soon as the consultant doctor entered, it struck me this was the lecturer that they were talking about. Most female students dislike him for his negative perception towards women becoming a doctor. YES, he thinks it's best for all women to stay at home and look after the family.Or even if we would like to work, we should have chosen other career instead.

What bullshit is that? 

During his lecture, he would stop momentarily if there was anything that he could relate to disagreeing on women working as a doctor. Gosh. It annoyed the crap outta me so much that I felt like leaving the lecture hall that instance. What craps did he have against women? He then asked some of the girls questions and if they could not answer, he pointed out his idiotic notion over and over again. -__-"

Seriously doc. Seriously. Are you from the Paleolithic era? Other times, I got the same treatment from the public. For example, whenever I have my night shifts at the Emergency Unit or the wards, the patient's family would call me "nurse". At first, I thought it was due to my blue scrub since I did not wear my white coat. But even when I wear my white coat, they still call me nurse! Isn't that obvious?? Please, don't take me wrongly. Nurse is a very important and noble job. Without them, the doctors won't be able to carry out their jobs optimally. It's just that, they call the male students "doctor" whereas the girls are called "nurse" most of the time. It's not very apparent but that kinda gives you the idea of sexism, don't you think so?

I wanna become a doctor and nothing can stop me. Boohoo!

Soon-to-be doctors from University of Indonesia, Jakarta. Wish us luck! ;)

Wordless Wednesday #4

Ps. I made these when I was back in Malaysia last year. But of course with my mom's help! Rindu makanan Malaysia! T__T
Pps. Not so wordless eh? :p

Hello June

It's June already! That means it's gonna be less than 2 months to home! I will be back home for good in end of July, InsyaAllah. :) Is anyone excited about me going home? Hahaha. So siapa-siapa nak kahwin dalam masa terdekat ni, silalah kahwin masa saya sedang cuti nanti ye. I'll be there for your reception. Kalau korang nak jemputlah kan. :p

I was thinking to go for induction in either December 2012 or January 2013 and start working soon after the short course. I hope it's not too late. Seriously, dah start jadi house officer, manalah sempat nak jalan-jalan or manja-manja dengan mama ayah kan? Hihi~ :p

I'm currently on my last clinical posting, Surgery. Hope everything goes smoothly and I'll be able to go home on time. Had my Comprehensive exam. The only thing that I need to worry about is final OSCE and of course three mini clinical examinations (mini CEX)! Including final written exam and OSCE for surgery! T__T My first mini CEX will be on this coming Monday and a day before the exam (Sunday), I have weekend shift at the hospital. *sigh*

I should start studying realllll hard and stop playing around. Hahaha.