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Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rants. Show all posts

Saturday, May 17, 2014

Little Miss A

Just when I thought nothing is worse than O&G posting, Orthopaedic came along and proved it all wrong. Come on, Ortho sucks? Why in the world would Ortho suck? Ortho was never my best subject. To be honest, I have no idea what I learnt from medical school years ago. Ortho was only a minor subset of my Surgery posting. I was never truly exposed to Ortho. It's just too specialized, I guess? *shrugs*

Just when I thought to quickly wrap it up and move on to the next posting, the dream just died right during my first month in Ortho. I wanted to stay invisible so badly but SHE jussttttt had to choose me to become her mentee. What did I ever do in my past life to ever be treated like this? My life is doomed. No, I'm not being a drama queen here thankyouverymuch. People keep telling me I can do it bla bla bla and shits. Yeah, easier said than done.

I can't stand her anymore. Please let this be over.
...
..
.
Holy crap, I'll be having EOP assessment with her. There's no escape.

Ps. "SHE" refers to an infamous Orthopaedic surgeon. Everyone is just so scared of her including the MOs. How the hell am I supposed to endure her every single freaking day of my Ortho life? You tell me.

Monday, January 20, 2014

O&G

I hate this posting.
The atmosphere. The people.
Everyone is so emotional. 
Workload is fine. It's the same damn thing every single day anyway.

Bleargh. I just hate O&G.
Period.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

The obnoxious one

Out of all bosses in Surgery, there is this one particular surgeon that had left me a very bad first impression on my first day in Surgical posting. Let's call him The Obnoxious One. Lol. I hope he doesn't find his way to this blog. I heard he's married with two wives and one of them is Chinese (I bet must be his second wife). And so I heard that he is fond of Chinese-looking female housemen. CUTE Chinese-looking housemen. I might look Chinese but I am definitely not cute. Lol. Anyway, I would be better be off than having him as his favourite. Yep, I pretty much hate him. Good thing he's not my assessor.

I had my night shift yesterday and I was surprised how soooo "lucky" I was that he was oncall on the same night too. We were warned that all housemen in the ward are to stay back until he is done with the rounds. Morning shift usually starts at 7am till 7pm, night shift starts at 6pm till 7am and he only started his round at 8.15pm. Since my ward was the last one to be rounded (lol, sorry, couldn't find any other word for it), most of the housemen decided to ignore his order and went back early. Seriously, if I were them, I would definitely stay back because he is not someone to be meddled with. You definitely do not want to have any trouble with him.

Waiting for him was painful in the ass. What even more painful is when seeing him already in the ward with a smirk on his face. And so the ward round started.

Boss: Are all the housemen in the ward? (The other wards are packed with housemen and seeing that they were only a few housemen left in the ward made him asked that question.

Silence....

Boss: ARE ALL THE HOUSEMEN IN THE WARD??! Aifaa, are all the housemen in the ward ?

Aifaa: *shook head* No boss.

Boss: Didn't I tell you all to stay in the ward until I'm done with the rounds? If you people cannot stay back for 2 hours longer, I guess 3 months of extension should be fine! Aifaa, make a name list of housemen who are not in the ward and pass it to me. If any of them are under me, they better be praying.

Us: Gulp...
Gahhhh. Having ward round with him is torturing enough and now this! Lucky thing that he did not ask much during the rounds. The medical officer cut me off when I was presenting my case, in which I was glad he did! Lol. The round ended after 20 minutes. It was brief probably because he was mad.

Yeah. Welcome to HKL baby! Yes, working here is stressful but I doubt any difference elsewhere. Surgery is already well-known to be a tough posting due to the pathologically-minded bosses so I already prepared myself what to expect. I'm just gonna lay low and get over this ASAP. Wish me luck peeps! ;)

Friday, April 12, 2013

Still alive!

Yes, I am. LMAO.
Work has been tough. Life as well.
It's been 5 months since I  started working. Survived my Medical posting, Alhamdulillah. Currently doing Paediatrics. I don't enjoy Paeds that much. Medical is actually far more interesting despite the workload but I don't think I'm capable of being a Medial specialist. Idk. So many things to master and I obviously do not have the knowledge. It's literally EVERYTHING about medicine.

Paeds? Meh. Boring. And I don't like handling SICK kids. I love kids but not sick kids. They'll just cry and scream at you whenever you're near them. They'll scream their lungs out when you're about to poke their small precious veins. God. By the end of the posting, I might actually end up being deaf!

Too much ranting eh?
I don't know if I'm enjoying my work or not. There are times where I feel like I don't have a life.
I LOVE MY JOB. I LOVE MY JOB. *hearts hearts*

Heh.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Sexism

According to the dictionary,

sex·ism
n.
  1. Discrimination based on gender, especially discrimination against women.
  2. Attitudes, conditions, or behaviors that promote stereotyping of social roles based on gender.

In this modern world, there is still a whole bunch of sexists. Well, the discrimination against women that we can see now isn't really that obvious or extreme and it is usually done in a very subtle way. Even sexism occurs in my very own educational institute.

There was one time where we were supposed to have a lecture with this very "infamous" consultant doctor. The moment when it was his time to deliver his lecture, all female students moved to the back rows, leaving the male students in front (I sat at the back from the start :p). I didn't really know the exact reason to this sudden peculiar act. As soon as the consultant doctor entered, it struck me this was the lecturer that they were talking about. Most female students dislike him for his negative perception towards women becoming a doctor. YES, he thinks it's best for all women to stay at home and look after the family.Or even if we would like to work, we should have chosen other career instead.

What bullshit is that? 

During his lecture, he would stop momentarily if there was anything that he could relate to disagreeing on women working as a doctor. Gosh. It annoyed the crap outta me so much that I felt like leaving the lecture hall that instance. What craps did he have against women? He then asked some of the girls questions and if they could not answer, he pointed out his idiotic notion over and over again. -__-"

Seriously doc. Seriously. Are you from the Paleolithic era? Other times, I got the same treatment from the public. For example, whenever I have my night shifts at the Emergency Unit or the wards, the patient's family would call me "nurse". At first, I thought it was due to my blue scrub since I did not wear my white coat. But even when I wear my white coat, they still call me nurse! Isn't that obvious?? Please, don't take me wrongly. Nurse is a very important and noble job. Without them, the doctors won't be able to carry out their jobs optimally. It's just that, they call the male students "doctor" whereas the girls are called "nurse" most of the time. It's not very apparent but that kinda gives you the idea of sexism, don't you think so?

I wanna become a doctor and nothing can stop me. Boohoo!

Soon-to-be doctors from University of Indonesia, Jakarta. Wish us luck! ;)


Saturday, May 5, 2012

It irks me

It irks me when people are trying to sound angelic when they're not.
It irks me when people are trying to act like they're innocent and all when they're obviously not.
It irks me when people are looking down at others when they themselves are nowhere near good.
It irks me when people are saying about other people when they're doing the same thing too anyway. They're at the ones at wrong too so what the hell with saying bad things about other people?

Hypocrites. They're everywhere.

Okay. I should stop now before I start becoming one of those people. I admit I myself is no better than other people. I'm trying my very best to become a better person than I am now. InsyaAllah. :) Minta-minta saya dijauhkan dari golongan sebegitu. Nauzubillah min zalik.

Ps. Masih mencari-cari sesuatu. Semoga saya menemuinya. :)

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Worst birthday ever

I blew up yesterday. You see, the cumulative effect of having to wait for YOU irresponsible people has done its damage. Yes, I might laughed it off for the past weeks but my patience has reached its limit. NEVER in my life I had such problems with my groupmates. I said, NEVER. Being late for once in awhile is totally acceptable but for every single freaking time is definitely NOT OKAY. How casual of you to ask me to WAIT for you yesterday after what you had done for the past few weeks. Aku bukan orang gaji kau nak tunggu setiap masa. Kau ingat masa aku tak berharga? Kau ingat?

The thing that upset me the most was when you asked us to do this and that but YOU have NEVER made it on time. "Cakap tak serupa bikin", as the Malay saying goes (I think? Does such saying formally exists in the dictionary? Haha.. Whatever!) Susah sangat ke kau nak tepati masa, tepati janji? Selama kau hidup, kau selalu break promises ke? Kasihan sungguh.

After being with you guys, all I can say is that you don't freaking have any remorse! If you do, you would have apologised. Most importantly, you would have tried to avoid being late ever again. Oh well, who am I kidding.  I guess you have never felt remorse before and I feel sorry for you.

Congratulations.

You've just made me realise how lucky I am to have my daddy and "him". They're my most perfects guys in the whole world.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Internal Medicine

The reason why I haven't been blogging for the past few weeks is this..
 Internal Medicine posting
I hatechuuuuuu! Okay, dah tak boleh besar lagi ke font ni? Haha.. Seriously, separuh mati rasanya mengharungi posting ni. We basically learn everything yang ada dalam tubuh kita, the internal organs. Tau tak berapa banyak organ ada haaaa? T___T *cries*

Seriously depressed. Having to write 3 portfolio papers in a week is torturing. Mind you, it's not the normal portfolio okay. Imagine if the patient has 13 problems, I have to discuss all 13 problems one by one, how I establish the diagnosis, my diagnostic plan, treatment plan yadda yadda. As for the follow ups, one problem should include all the explicit details on SOAP
S: subjective (patient's complaints)
O: objective (physical exams, lab exams, supporting exams)
A: assessment
P: plan (diagnostic, treatment, education)
If you have 13 problems, you're gonna have 13 SOAPs in a day. Since I have to follow up the patients for a week, I'm gonna have 4 days of follow up. To make it worse, multiply that by 3 since I have 3 patients.

THIS IS MADNESS.

Ps. We can't complain since the Internal Medicine residents are doing the same thing too. No wonder the medical records are so freaking thick!
Pps. Tell me why do I wanna become a doctor again?

Sunday, December 11, 2011

I sprained my ankle

Yep, saya tahu saya sangatlah careless. Encik Sumi cakap saya selalu sangat jatuh. It's either saya memang tak berhati-hati or saya obese so senang hilang balance. Oopss. It hurts so bad that I swear I could hear bone-cracking sound. Alhamdulillah, bila X-ray, nothing major happened actually. The doctor said it was merely a hematoma at the right ankle joint region. Bengkak still tak kecik-kecik. Takut. :(

Swelling of the right ankle joint

Doctor dah bandage. Tu pun saya yang mintak isk.

One day after the incident. Still ada hematoma.
Rumah Sakit MH Thamrin Salemba hampeh sesangat. Service sangatlah teruk. My friends helped me to do all the administrative stuff. And sampaikan nak ambil wheelchair pun kena ambil sendiri. WTF. It's a private hospital. Nurse yang takde kerja selamba je suruh pegi ambil. Sebab takde koas la tu. Kalau RSCM, kerja-kerja camtu, koas la. Jadi kuli. Sobs~ Cepatlah sembuh. Kalau tak, camne nak sambut baby kat Ruang Bersalin lagi, ye tak? T___T


Ps. Turns out that doctor kat emergency tu adalah resident kat RSCM. Please please forget my face and name. Malu.
Pps. Koas = medical student yang sedang clinical posting kat hospital.

Friday, November 11, 2011

It's either they're illiterate or blind


It find it really annoying when people do not spell my name correctly when I have clearly written my name on the required forms. Here's an example. Tell me, am I stupid enough to write my name WRONGLY? And there's a huge difference between "Hazizan" and "Azizah". Gahhhh. Come on! It's not even difficult to spell it out RIGHT!

/iz pissed off

Ps. Oh, it's 11/11/11 today and 2PM is right here in Jakarta and I can't even go to their concert. /screamsssssssssss T___T

Monday, October 17, 2011

The world is cruel

I bet most of you guys have seen this video and seriously, I find it very VERY disturbing. How can humankind be so heartless? Check out the video below.



Here's an excerpt from a news article:

A two-year-old toddler was run over by two vans and mortally wounded, after which 18 people passed her indifferently in south China's Guangdong Province.

Thanks to the 19th passer-by, a woman garbage collector who came to her aid about seven minutes after the first hit, the girl didn't die immediately in last Thursday's incident. But doctors said the girl died yesterday from severe brain injuries she had suffered in the accident.

Police have detained both drivers.

After the surveillance video of the incident was put online yesterday, many netizens condemned the 18 passers-by who could have helped the girl avoid the second accident. The case was the latest to bring home the question of whether people today are too cold-blooded to help, or whether it's smart to stay away from an accident to avoid the chance of being accused of responsibility by the victim.

The girl, identified by her parents as Yueyue, was knocked down by a van about 5:30pm last Thursday, when walking alone in a hardware wholesaling market in the city of Foshan. The car driver stopped for a while after the front wheel rolled over the girl. But he sped away soon and the rear wheel crushed her again.

A witness walked around the girl lying on the narrow street without stopping, the surveillance camera showed. Then a biker and a pedestrian passed her but ignored the girl struggling in a pool of blood.

A second van driver, who didn't see the girl, crushed her again and fled the scene. After the second hit, Yueyue became motionless.

Over the ensuing five minutes, 15 people passed her and each of them just took a look. None stopped to lend a hand.  Then finally, about seven minutes after the girl was hit by the first van, the trash collector came to her aid. She rushed to help her sit up but Yueyue was paralyzed. So the woman moved her from the middle of the street to the side. She yelled for help and Yueyue's mother came and held her daughter in her arms.

Yueyue was rushed to the General Hospital of Guangzhou Military Command, where she remained in the intensive care unit until she died yesterday afternoon.

"She couldn't breathe on her own," said Wen Qiang, deputy director of the ICU department.

The incident is the latest example of passers-by acting indifferently to victims injured in crimes. In this case, some blamed the parents for letting the girl walk on the street alone. More criticized the phenomenon of people passing by without helping, caused at least in part by previous extortion attempts from the injured and their families who have sometimes tried to blame the person helping.

She got run over by a van and a truck, TWICE! The first van ran over her twice (front and rear wheels) so that makes it three times?  Humankind much? I don't think so! May that poor little girl rest in peace..

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Why Malaysian Gov Can't Retain Its Doctors

Found this on Facebook and apparently it was published on TheStar Online. Couldn't agree more. The article is soooo good, I swear! For doctors-to-be, read on!

Why we left and why we will continue to leave...
Posted by: MS Mohamad


I read an interesting article today about a few prominent figures addressing their concern over the increasing UKM and UM medical graduates who have left the country to continue their medical practice overseas.

After reading the news for 3 times, I called a very close friend, an MD (UKM) graduate to ask his opinion on how the news might have affected him. He has been working in Singapore for more than a decade as a Consultant Surgeon with a certain sub-specialty

"Why be a slave in your own country, when you are a king in another?" He replied.

Indeed, if anybody would want to find a reason why all of us left, either after housemanship, after being a specialist, or even after sub specializing, and now, even prior to doing housemanship, they need not look at our payslip, or the wealth that we have gained overseas, but only to the Medical System that has been rotting in the ignorance and politic-based stupidity that Malaysia has been well-known for (in the medical field).

I have served the system for nearly 2 decades of my career, waiting for it to improve for so long, and only finding myself in despair, quitting with a 24-hour notice and serving abroad. The system is, in my opinion, keeping doctors, since the beginning of their career as House Officers to the end of it, in the lowermost priority. When I was working there, doctors are so ill-treated, while the nurses and the medical assistants are overpowering us.

I still remember the days when I was doing seeing patients and rounds as an MO, while the staff nurses would mind their own business, having breakfast in the pantry, or having gossip chats at their own leisure. My House Officers would then have to do merely all the labour-work, up to the extent of setting intravenous drips, and serving medications. If I am to expect the nurses, my patients would have been dead, or the work would have been too slowly or incompletely done. When I was a House Officer, I had to run down 4-5 floors just to review a blood investigation of a dying dengue patient. The ward staff would either be nowhere around, or will say that he is busy (busier than the doctor?) or the answer I got at that time:

"Doktor nak cepat, doktor turun sendirilah, gaji doktor lagi banyak dari saya"

Even when I was a Specialist, the staff nurses had to be called again and again just to make sure the management plan for the patient would be done. I was already used to answers from them:

“I’m busy with something else"

“My shift is already over"

...it was routine for me.

The Medical Assistants were worse. They would hide behind their so-called boss, the Head of Medical Assistant. They feel hiding behind him would make them not under our jurisdiction, that we have no power to instruct them in managing the patient, that they have power to manage own their own. I've seen them giving medications not as we prescribed, performing procedures without our knowledge, as if they are the actual "Doctors". They are in their own world, and we have to do their job, taking blood, labelling samples, and even cleaning gadgets from the procedures that we have done.

Oh, but the ministry loves this group. They even let them run a clinic now, instead of upgrading the clinics already run by doctors. The government feels that the MAs are very important and should never be ill-treated by those big bad doctors. One time when I was a District Hospital Medical Officer, I was conducting a delivery of a baby. An MA insisted that I remove my car which was block-parking his car. I answered through the phone that I was busy. He came to the labor room and yelled "Semua orang pun sibuk jugak, macamlah doktor seorang yang sibuk!”

It is insulting that an MA or a staff nurse claims that they are BUSY, as busy as a doctor? As a Malaysian Doctor, I have even worked for 72 hours straight. I have experienced working until my 6 month old daughter did not recognize me at the end of the week. Is that how busy they are? I am very sure that they are so busy, that they can only spend 2 hours at the nearby Mamak stall, or can only leave at 5:10 PM instead of 5, or can only have 1 hour of lunch.

The management staffs are worse. I have to beg and plead so that I can get my on-call claims, of RM25 per 48 hours of work. While sitting in an air-conditioned office, they will at their own leisure, process my call claims so that I will receive them by the next decade.

The state health or Hospital Director would just give another inspirational talk (of bollocks) on team effort and beauty of teamwork.

That is how Malaysian doctors are treated in the government sector: without respect, without dignity and without significance. Why?

It is because we are bound by ethics to try our best to save lives, despite how ill-treated we are. We hardly have time to complaint because we are too busy or tired, and we would rather spend the precious time resting or seeing our loved ones. The burden of trying to save lives is on our shoulders alone. No MAs or Staff nurses would shoulder it with us. They have their own bosses: the Sisters, Matrons, or Head of MAs, which job description is to ensure that the big bad doctors will not ask their underlings to do extra work.

This is how the Malaysian Ministry of Health have treated their doctors. I am very sure that in each and every doctor, there is a slowly-burning patience in serving the Malaysian people, which will eventually fade and cause them to surrender to serving a place that treats them better.
A few colleagues who graduated from UK choose to serve there:

"The pay is more, and we get the respect we deserve"

Another works in Brunei:

“Here the staff nurses respect Malaysian doctors, and they are very co-operative" (He ended up marrying one)

A few are consultants in Singapore (working with me):

"Here we are treated well, we spearhead the management, and every else do their work to the best of their capabilities".

A few even enjoys working in Indonesia:

“The work-load is horrible since there are a lot of patients, but we are well respected by every hospital personnel" (They have migrated there for nearly a decade)

I am sure that people will see doctors as power-hungry individuals who want to be the boss in the hospital. Trust me, after having graduated 6-7 years of medical school, earning a DEGREE, and subsequently MASTERS, and SUBSPECIALITY, you would expect a degree of respect and being considered important. We are trying our best to improve patient's quality of life, or making sure he lives another day. Is it too much to ask from the system that we are important?

I find that Malaysia is the only country that is making doctors' lives miserable and treated like rubbish. It was never about the pay in the first place. It is about the treatment we are getting and the false political-based promises. Do you know that the so-called circular about doctors can have the day off after working 24 hours straight released JULY 2009 is not yet implemented? Do you know that the raise of UD 41 to 44 does not involve every doctor in the government service?

We are waiting for improvement. We have waited a long time when we were working in the system. Somewhere along the line we decided to leave and wait outside the system. Until the system changes, we will continue to work overseas, in countries which are appreciative of us. Trust me, Malaysian-graduate doctors are considered highly skilful and competent in neighbouring countries, and the 15 % brain drain is more significant than you think.

We will return when the system prioritize us and gives us the quality of life we deserve.
If it stays the same, Malaysian Hospitals would end up having Staff nurses and Medical Assistants as "Doctors", and we would have to send patients to Indonesia for an appendicectomy.

Hear our voice. We hardly speak, but will usually fade away from conflict (and fly to another place).

-----------------------------------------------
 
It was a good reading, aye?

There's a reason why I hate nurses. They might have more experience than us, young doctors. Yes you do but we freaking studied for 6 years long before we can start working. But is it too much to ask to respect us as we respect them? We make more money? That's just bullshit if you wanna compare with the workload that we have to endure.

And oh yeah, one more thing. STOP BLOODY TELLING ME how I should be grateful for bla bla bla. When I said I was being treated like a slave during my night shifts at the hospital, I wasn't kidding. Doing all those stuff that was meant for others neither helps me nor the patients. I'm in my learning phase so I need to learn as much as I can so that I can save more lives. So don't tell me you understand what I'm going through coz you have NO BLOODY IDEA what it is like.

Ps. Emo again? Dang it.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Menjengkelkan

Nak tau tak benda apa yang paling menjengkelkan kat dunia ni at this moment? (menjengkelkan = irritating)

KOSAN SAYA (my hostel)

Like seriously, tak habis-habis ada problem. Bayar bukannya murah tapi more than half of my monthly allowance kot. The monthly rent is the only sole reason that has been making me "papa kedana" for every end of the three-month period. I wanna move out but there's nowhere else I could go. Nak cari kos baru kat sini sangat susah. Kalau ada, sangat mahal sampai lebih dari Rp2 juta. Kalau murah, cam setinggan pulak tapi tak sanggup. T___T Percaya tak living cost kat Jakarta Pusat berkali-kali ganda lebih mahal dari KL tapi JPA tak mau naik-naik allowance pun walaupun dah buat proposal setebal buku Harrison's Internal Medicine. Okay, tipu je tapi seriously, daku terseksa. T___T

Masa mula-mula tinggal kat bilik lama banyak problem. Tiles bilik air kena bongkah sebab katanya air bilik air mengalir ke bilik bawah (likee ewww la kan tapi saya tak jorok so ok kot hahaha) I was the one who had to suffer. Kena mengemis bilik air kat bilik kawan or guna bilik air luar. It's very inconvenient sebab campur laki perempuan so kalau keluar dari bilik kena tutup dari atas sampai bawah. Gila kau pakai towel je? -__-" Fine lah kan. Pastu kena bongkah tiles bilik sebab kata bocor. Tapi benda paling bodoh, source of water dari mana pulak datang?? Don't think it's necessary. Pastu adalah few other problems macam kunci pintu rosak, ceiling bocor air hujan, internet cable cannot be connected yadda yadda.

Disebabkan tak tahan, saya mengambil keputusan untuk pindah kamar dengan harapan bilik tu tak semalang bilik lama. Tapi apakan daya, ternyata bilik baru ni lebih teruk. Tiles kena bongkah lagi? yep. History repeats itself. Gahhhhh~ Hari ni kena bongkah tiles bilik. Pe jadahnyaaaaa?

Nak kasi suggestion boleh? Apa kata just robohkan satu kosan je pastu buat yang baru? Ngeks betol.

Ps. Ya, ini entri emo lagi.

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Responsibility

I had the worst night shift in history evahhh~ Ended up alone all night. Was supposed to have the night shift at the emergency unit with this guy friend classmate of mine but he bailed on me! He left without words and it was before midnight! He came late and left early. Tell me, how the hell are you gonna be a good doctor if you keep acting this way? Skipping classes, coming to the hospital late, being rude to the senior doctors. Urgh.

And oh by the way, being a doctor doesn't mean you'll get more money. Yes, I know it's all about helping others but please, don't you think you should be more empathetic towards us as well? Instead of mocking us, try to understand the workload that we have everyday, will you?

Oh well, you'll never understand. You'll never will. I rest my case.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Climax

Keluh kesah di Facebook saya.
Laughing at other people's mistake doesn't make you any smarter. In fact, it's the other way around. Period.
Honestly, what did I do wrong? (╥﹏╥) I got hurt and was merely pointing out my opinion and then I got hurt again. If you're gonna continue being cold with me, then be it. I've nothing else to say.
 Saya tatau sejak bila saya jadi gangster, sejak bila saya jadi pemarah, sejak bila saya dah pandai bergaduh dengan budak lelaki. Yes, you heard me right. Cakap pun jarang, apatah lagi takde angin, takde pape nak gaduh pulak kan. Tapi saya gaduh pakai silent treatment, secara pasif je. Takde kot nak bertekak mulut sebab sudah pasti berguguran air mata muahaha~

Dia suruh saya check perangai saya sendiri sebelum nak mengata orang sebab nobody's perfect. Saya tak mengata okay. Uhhhh~ Benci. I know it's a DARN TRUE FACT that nobody's perfect. I don't need to be reminded especially by someone like you. The thing that you did, that horrible thing? Yes, I know everything. So, if you don't like me, fine! I don't like you either. Let's just ignore each others existence, shall we? Hearing your voice annoys the crap outta me.

Ya, ini entri emo. Sekian.

Ps. Saya sangat busy nowadays. Sempat blogwalking sekejap je. T___T

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Waving the white flag

I have finally surrendered and decided to go to the hospital today. The moment I woke up, my dyspnea didn't even get better at all. It was still the same as yesterday. Auscultated my chest and thank God, there was no wheezing. Well, not yet. I hope there would be none at all!! If there is, it indicates that my asthma has only moved to the next stage. T__T And since my ventolin inhaler has expired, I've got no choice other than going to the hospital ASAP. It's a good thing I'm still able to walk by myself. :') If only he was here, he would have come and accompanied me but he wasn't even here sobs. :'(

As usual, went to the see the GP and explained everything yadda yadda. The thing that I hate the most is waiting for the meds at the pharmacy. Since my meds are insured, the staff there need to call up the insurance company and make sure that my meds are covered by them. I'm sure this time around there will be no problem since there were no supplements in my prescription (I like to see what I'm prescribed with!). Little did I know that they DID NOT HAVE BLOODY STOCK FOR VENTOLIN INHALER. Okay, I hope I made that very clear. =P

I mean, come on! I do not want to go the government hospital here so that I could skip all the hassle of having to wait for hours. Hello, I know how it feels like. I've been working/studying in the biggest tertiary national hospital and waiting for the queue is no big joke! And why would I go there if I'm medically insured by JPA? I suppose MH Thamrin Hospital is quite a BIG PRIVATE hospital but somehow, they're not up to their standard. Gahhh. When I asked when will the inhaler be available and the staff there (with muka selamba badak) replied Monday. MONDAY? That's like 2 days away. I can't wait that long. I mean, that's my most crucial med and I need it ASAP. I'm dyspnic ya know. It HURTS you dopehead. /crying T_____T

Didn't want to argue any longer so I simply asked for the prescription so that I could buy it from the pharmacy outside. I even had to ask for it TWICE. These people, really, are you guys trying to give me a heart attack or what? T__T So yeah, it's settled. Bought it from a VERY SMALL pharmacy store for a price of Rp 111 000. There goes my money. Sobs.

My meds. 
I hate meds. I really do. Why the heck do I wanna be a doctor then? So that I could enjoy torturing others by giving them meds muahaha! No, I'm kidding okay. =p

Monday, June 6, 2011

This is depressing

Hai. Siapa nak berkenalan dengan makhluk ini angkat kepala cepat!
Saya sedang mengalami depresi yang sungguh hebat akibat tekanan jiwa yang melampau memikirkan laporan skripsi yang sampai sekarang belum siap-siap lagi. Oh, sebenarnya itu hanya memberi kontribusi sebanyak 10% pada depresi ini. Saya menjadi bertambah depresi disebabkan pihak uni yang tercinta telah mengeluarkan draft untuk cuti tahun ini. Ladies and gentlemen.. *drum rolls* Saya dengan bangganya mengisytiharkan libur untuk para siswazah di UI adalah sampai..
22 Augustus 2011
(Augustus = August = Ogos)
Seriously horror gilaaaaa.. Raya 31 August and start kelas 22 August. It's only freaking one week! Dan yang lebih bestnye, that is applicable for clinical students ONLY (5th and final year students). Those budak hingusan tahun 1, 2 dan 3 (tahun ke 4 di Melbourne so biaq pi kat depa ah) akan libur sampai 12 September 2011. Sungguhlah tak adil! I mean come on! It's been 2 years kot raya kat luar Malaysia. This is my last chance to celebrate raya as a student. Sebab nanti dah keje tak dapat duit raya hahaha.

Oklah. Gonna get back to work. Buah hati cinta pengarang jantung research yang ku sayang. T_T

Ps. Cakap pun dah tak nyambung. Wuddeheck.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Angry Mira

R: Mira, berenti main angry birds~keke. Gi buat literature review.
Me: Tadi tengah marah langsung main Angry Birds tak jadi tido. Hahaha.. Pastu tido sebab tak boleh pikir dah. Haish. -__-"
R: Hehe.. Angry Mira~ =P
Me: Membayangkn burung yg comel itu ialah saya and yg kaler ijau tu.... hmmm. ngeee~ ok.
R: Yang kaler ijo tu dung dung =P Kami chup hitam bomb ...ngeeee~
Me: HAHAHA. Dung dung xD. Lol. Ape main chup2 nie. Fine, Mira amek yg kuning yg laju tu. Best2! teehee!
Mannnn Angry Birds is really addicting. I couldn't stop playing once I started. Especially tengah stressed out tulis thesis and bengang dengan seseorang yang kutuk dan cakap belakang pasal aku.

Hurt, betrayed, and falsely accused. I seriously wanted to confront her but I'm just too afraid to do so. I'm scared that I would break down into tears once I start talking to her. Her words were just so hurtful but yet she messaged me nicely. Hello? Didn't you think I wouldn't find out what you did behind my back? Whatever. I'm just gonna stay away from you for the next few days and see what you're gonna do next. Just so you know, I did nothing wrong and your words were so twisted!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Being sick after sitting for finals...

Tissues lying everywhere on my desk!
 ... is not fun at all! I've been thinking all the things that I wanna do after the exams but had to put them aside due to the sickness that I'm suffering of. I don't think this is just a simple common cold. It's been torturing me for over a week now. I'm just too sure that I'm actually having acute rhinosinusitis. I guess I need to have to wait until next week since sinusitis may resolve on its own after 2 weeks. Well, I hope so! This headache is killing me.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Acute rhinosinusitis

Went to Thamrin hospital today and was diagnosed with acute rhinosinusitis. I don't get it. I was thinking it should be rhinopharyngitis instead since I have runny nose with purulent discharge and sore-throat. Oh well. Whatever. I hope I get better soon. Polyclinics are so stuffy. RSCM is so frigging packed every single day. I can imagine how tired must the doctors here be! More exposure to sick people means more susceptible I become to infection. Eeekkk. =/

OSCE on Thursday, written exam on Friday. Patient's exam on Monday in the following week. Praying hard so that I don't get sick on these days! Amin.. :)

Back to study mode. Ciao! ^_~